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stopped cold

why do i think of him? i am fine, i don't dwell on or live in the past, and the things that you would think would remind me of him (which essentially reminds me of my failures) don't phase me a bit. maybe they taint me, but they don't stop me. and then, suddenly something as basic as eating ice cream brings it all back, and in an instant, i can see him, eating ice cream in that certain way he did. it annoyed me so much then. now it stops me in the middle of a busy shift. i wonder if i will ever stop thinking of him. not that i think of him often, but i think maybe it's more often than i should?
i pray for him when i think of him. i pray for me when i think of him.
i feel so responisble for bringing tradgedy to his life. i feel so heavy when i think of him. sometimes i can blow it off and not be moved, but tonight i was stopped cold.

This entry was posted by .: Amanda :. on Wednesday, May 17, 2006 at 1:42 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.

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Anonymous Anonymous

I hear you. I love your sensitivity. No trite advice or easy words here. Just intoxicating, suffocating transparency. I'm with you in that tension you feel. I love the strength and vulnerability of your honesty. I love you.    



Anonymous Anonymous

I hear you. I love your sensitivity. No trite advice or easy words here. Just intoxicating, suffocating transparency. I'm with you in that tension you feel. I love the strength and vulnerability of your honesty. I love you.    



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