Ever?
Sunday, April 23, 2006
do you ever start to feel sorry for yourself? i don't typically allow myself to do the whole, my life would be different if...thing. but sometimes, the whole, how am i supposed to support me and jack and get a career that fits around being a mommy and raise him and etc etc etc floods my mind, and i go a little crazy. tonight i was on jared's blog, and there is a friend of his that is a widow...i read her blog whenever i get a chance. this woman is what, in her later 20s, maybe early 30s max, and her husband, is gone. so she is left with her and her four year old son, who is still struggling to understand why daddy is gone. i read her blogs, about how much she loves her son, and just what she goes through daily. (and please understand, she is NEVER whining, or trying to make people feel sorry for her), and i think about how i whine about the little things. i weep as i read her blog. she had a marriage, and a man that she loved in a passionate, complete way, a marriage she enjoyed, and it's gone. how ___ is it that her marriage, happy and healthy is ended too quickly, and those of us with failed marriages, are both still living, but can't/won't make it work...God i would ask for Your favor on her household, that where there is sorrow, that you would exchange it for peace, where there are tears, you would bring hope, where their is lack, you would bring much, that you would surrond this household, the household that your faithful live in. God she has refused to curse you, although the love of her life be taken away. would you bring increase to her and her son, for her faithfulness...God someday that her example in love and in perseverence would be seen...would you meet with her, and sing over her in the night hours, would you breathe on her creativity and wisdom. would you refresh her and give her rest. would you father her son, and teach him discipline. would you walk before him and show him the way he should go. God she has sought you and blessed you first, while others would have cursed you. would you cause even the same blessing of job to fall on this woman and her house.